February 2, 2025 marks ten years since I began my service at FLBCS. Today our staff surprised me with cake (which I thought was reserved for retirement) and an extremely meaningful booklet of personal reflections. It meant a lot to me.  

A decade goes by fast. I received the call the prior May (2014), moved that December, and was installed on March 15 (a pastor friend texted me during the service to “beware the Ides”). But it was that February 2 (Groundhog’s Day!) when I bundled up against the Minnesota cold and trudged 451 (or so) steps to my new office in Hauge Memorial Chapel.  

I really don’t know where the time has gone. Recently several people have asked me some version of “what do you wish you could have told the younger ‘you’ with what you know today?” That got me thinking, so… 

Dear 41-year-old Wade, 

God has invited you to leave something that you know and love and embrace a new, less-defined challenge. In some ways it will be just like your current call; in other ways it will be completely different. Figuring out which is which will be half the challenge. The other half? It has to do with your character, and the faster you figure out that the only thing you can control is your attitude the more effective (and happy) you will be. This one truth controls everything else I am about to tell you.  

A good friend (several of them, actually) will give you some good advice that you should follow: “This call is a good thing, and the faster you embrace that the easier it will be for everybody.” Transitions are hard, and maybe harder for some than for others, but the longer you wallow in it the worse it will get. The wallowing will poison everything. Hurt if you must, but let Christ redeem the pain.  

There is probably something lurking underneath that pain. The one emotion people like you understand is anger. Anger is a control mechanism. Control is a fear response to being hurt. Pain that is not transformed is transmitted. Wounds are where the light gets in. Some clichés exist because they are true. 

Right now, you are excited about training future pastors, but in about a month you will realize that the School really needs a president. But you don’t really know what that means, so you’ll have to figure it out. Your willingness to learn what you do not know will become your greatest asset. You will never be the smartest guy in the room or the expert in any one area. Get used to it. It doesn’t matter. You were a good pastor, and some of those experiences will help. But the engineer and coach in you will be just as helpful. God knew what He was doing way back in college. 

The business of ministry matters. If you don’t run that business well that business will run you poorly. But most ministry business is very basic. Tuition discount rate is way more important than you realize. Inflation is tough, but don’t worry: It’s not like the government will shut down society for two years and pour trillions of dollars into the economy and costs will go up 19% in two years… that seems oddly specific. Listen to your CFO. 

Your work with donors will be far more important than you realize. The sacrificial, generous giving of people and congregations will become a sometimes-overwhelming source of humbling. People give to people they know and trust. Trust is the coin of the realm. People are people and not money. Treat them accordingly. They are not “your donors,” but partners in the mission God has called you to steward together. 

The people around you will accomplish more than you imagine, but rarely more than you ask. If you tell them they can—or tell them they can’t—they will probably listen. You will grow to love them like family, to weep with them and to rejoice with them. Don’t miss the gift that it is to work with these precious people.  

Hiring and firing is the highest leverage activity in your control. Bad hires are your fault, not theirs, so don’t compound the mistake by avoiding the inevitable. Set them free to thrive elsewhere. Letting bad actors go isn’t so hard, but you’re going to have to talk “end of employment” with some commendable souls. It’s not fun, but it’s a good thing. And remember that someday someone will have that talk with you. Resolve to take it well. 

Not every good thing is easy, and nobody loses when you make those hard decisions. Postponing them sounds nice at the time but is hurtful, delaying your own pain and demanding that others pay back that pain (with interest) in the future. Nice people and cowards sometimes look alike. Be kind, but don’t be a coward, or try to prove that you are not. 

Leadership is lonely, but not as lonely as you will make it seem. Check yourself: When you are most lonely, who do you want to be with? Nobody. There is a deception in that equation. Leadership is lonely by definition, but it does not need to be as lonely as the first time you walk through the office door to find one pile of file folders, empty but dusty bookshelves, and nothing else but a place where a computer will be (and you’ll have to buy one yourself six weeks later because systems and structures are not in place to do so).  

But don’t be bitter enough to remember it ten years later— just fix it. It’s part of the call. The mission of establishing students in the eternal and inerrant Word of God for life in Jesus Christ and faithful service in His kingdom is too important to be tinged by bitterness or regret, or longing for a different call. Get to work. The students matter more than anything. Their souls, their families, their congregations, and their communities will be impacted by the character with which you carry out your call.   

The Bible College and Seminary—and indeed, the entire AFLC—is hurting right now. Your predecessor died suddenly, and we were not ready. You weren’t ready, either, and didn’t see all of this coming. The Board of Trustees didn’t blink, though, so you’re not in it alone. But you’re the one who sees the situation on the ground with fresh eyes and first-hand perspective. This won’t be easy, and it won’t be quick.  

A leader must be an indefatigable optimist. That means you worry in private then stand in front of others with confidence. Give them time, space, and room to process. Just because you think it doesn’t mean that they know it—or that you are right. But your glass? It must be not just half-full, but overflowing, simultaneously catching God’s provision and spreading God’s blessings. Be generous—A clenched fist harvests no grain and scatters no seed. 

Students matter. The fight to make “go to class and do your homework” the cultural norm instead of an uphill battle will consume a few years of your staff’s life. Academic rigor—and teaching students to read, write, think, speak, and listen while they learn the gospel—will be a more difficult pursuit than you thought. Then you will find some of your greatest joy in watching students and staff embrace a small ministry to developmentally disabled students that we will meet ten years from now. Start here, go anywhere… 

Students matter. Everybody else will want you to make a decision that benefits them. Some of it is sinister, but most of it simply lacks context. It is your job to think globally for the sake of the mission. And if you don’t stand up for students, connecting the mission, vision, and values of the Bible College and Seminary to the students you serve, who will? It’s your job, not everyone else’s.  

Did I mention that leadership is lonely? Leaders want to be understood. It is a good desire but a terrible demand. Do your job. That’s how you will be understood. Lead, love, trust, serve, teach… people think that leadership is down the “org chart.” It’s really up. The board that oversees you can’t make good decisions without good information. They don’t know how to be good board members. Teach them. 

And learn from them. That board member who has an impossible idea? It might just work, and it may even lead to bigger outcomes than you think imaginable. Leading with zeal means that your Board will have to say “Whoa!” but they should never have to say “Sic em!” The tug of the leash is security, not opposition. Embrace it. Enjoy their protection and correction as God’s provision. 

Your biggest victories will be things that can only be explained as the hand of God. You won’t even work for them. Maybe they are byproducts of the culture you helped create, or the work of people you hired and encouraged. But God did it, not you. And some of your biggest failures— the things you will still be working on when you turn 51? Some of it just won’t move. Trust God’s hand in that, too, as long as it’s not for lack of trying. 

You will make mistakes. Change course quickly. Mistakes aren’t fatal. You can mess up, change course, and get it right faster than sitting around waiting to be sure of yourself.  

You will sin. Repent quickly. Even if you did not sin, but hurt someone, “Please forgive me for hurting you” goes a long way.  

Success in the mission of FLBCS will require saying no to a lot of good things. You will have to turn down some attractive requests—both for you and the School. You will also get some free advice, or some grapevine analysis. Listen to everyone, but don’t act on all of it. It is loving to not act on everyone’s ideas. It’s impossible to do so anyway, and an abdication of your calling to try. Need a filter? Tell them “no” and see how they respond. If they won’t respect your “no” they don’t deserve your “yes.” A “no” is not forever, and asking again is an act of love. Check yourself on this— people will tell you “no,” too. 

Enjoy your installation service, where you will sit with your family and closest friends and the joint choir will sing “This Is My Word” and the flower girl in your wedding will make eye contact with you, and she will smilingly cry like you will. Wear a white shirt— it’s not the time to make a statement— and when you accidentally wear your olive suit instead of your charcoal one it won’t be as obnoxious. Remember the words of the sermon from your favorite seminary professor. You are God’s gift to the Free Lutheran Bible College and Seminary, but in an “Ephesians 4 equipping the saints” way, not a “you can do no wrong” way. 

The Free Lutheran Bible College and Seminary needs you to do your job, but if you don’t—provided other leaders do the hard right thing to make a change at the right time—there are others. God always has His man for His mission.  

But your family? They need you. God has not called anyone else to that duty, nor can He. Go home. Be fully present there. Take one less trip and talk to one less donor. Let the critical email, phone call, or conversation go. It might not really be all that critical. And for the love of everything holy do not read the comments on social media or let people live rent free in your head. I know it doesn’t feel like it, but that stuff is in your control, too.  

Focus on and invest in Michele, Hannah, and Ben… you’re a good team together. Enjoy this all together. Smile a lot. You will meet some of the most amazing people in the world through this calling. Oh—one more thing—go ahead and get the dog. You’ll break down at 50, so you might as well do it now. 

In Christ, God’s best is yet ahead, 
51-year-old Wade